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Monday, July 30, 2012

MLG Pro... Yo.

Am I the only person who thinks it's really stupid when I see people on the news or similar social media where some gamer did something stupid with his own life?  There have been multiple cases of this, most notably with the game World of Blarcraft.  You should all know what I'm talking about when I say that people who play this game, for the most part, are more addicted to it than a heroine junky.  Some people have gone so far as to kill themselves over an in-game death.  May I stress that these are pixels on a screen that you're killing yourself over?  Granted, that does mean there are a few less idiots roaming around, but still.  I'm a gamer and it makes us all look bad when one person does stupid stuff like this.  There are people who do other not quite as stupid things, as well.  Spending tons of real money on in-game items is one thing.  They had some guy who paid around 4 grand on an account, and then got banned after logging in once or twice.  That's over five hundred hours of minimum wage for a few minutes of in-game glory.  There are more examples from trading card games, as well, but those aren't quite as bad since you have to physically interact with people to take any use in buying that thousand dollar card you just bought.  So, it's not quite as bad.  Still pretty bad, but it's a low number.  Then there are people on other games, usually free to play, who spend thousands of dollars hitting the max level with amazing gear just to find out they don't know how to take a step forward on the damn game.  That's like paying your way to the top of the Microhard corporate ladder and then finding out you can't even make a table in HTML.  People like this just piss me off to no end and deserve to be chained down to a chair while they watch their character that they spend 5 grand on get deleted, or their card get the bend test done on it a little too hard.

Friday, July 27, 2012


In my constant pursuit to find things to bitch about in this society, the one thing that comes up more than any other is Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD).  Now, I do believe it exists, but I don't believe that there are as many people who have it as are stated.  Your kid being hyper and unfocussed isn't necessarily ADD.  It could just mean you're a bad parent, and most of the time it does.  Or it could just mean he's a perfectly normal child and you're an idiot, which it is a lot of the time.  Just because your kid likes to climb trees, jump around, and generally annoy you it doesn't mean there's anything mentally wrong with them.  It usually means the opposite.  Kids thrive on attention, it's a well-known fact.  They love getting attention, and if they can only get it by being a ''bad'' kid then god damn it, they'll be a bad kid.  If you never give your kid attention for the good things he does, he'll never do them.  I'm being redundantly redundant in this post because I'm trying to drill this into your heads.  They don't have the mental capacity to realize that if you don't get attention it's because you're doing good.  They don't realize not being punished is better than being punished until they're actually punished.  They can't look ahead as well as we can, so they don't realize that ''Hey, if I cut my mom's pinkie toe off, I might get in some serious trouble!''  They see it as ''Hey, if I cut my mommy's big toe off she'll pay attention to me for once in my life!''  See the dilemma?  Give your kid a hug now and again, it'll probably save you on drugs now, and therapy later on in life.

Wednesday, July 25, 2012


Okay, so I made a comment the other day about how I hate seeing all of the black guys around the ghetto wasting their natural talent as human beings and I got some shit for it.  They pointed out that, in so many words, white people do the same thing and then called me ignorant.  I'd like to point out that they singled out an entire race, as well.  What I'd also like to point out is that blacks gave us some of the best music I've ever heard.  They basically founded jazz, which rock and roll wouldn't exist if it weren't for.  They also gave us, most notably, the air conditioner and fifty uses for the peanut.  Including my favourite snack peanut butter.  Now, I'd also like to point out that the same person called me an idiot for a good hour straight because I dropped out of high school.  I'm sorry, but that's some bull as well, but I won't go too deep into that.  But I will say that it's pretty closed minded to call someone stupid simply because they didn't finish school.  Especially when you apparently don't know the English language better than your common four year old.  The really interesting thing about this was that the person wouldn't even allow me to speak without bringing it up.  Sounds fun, eh?  Oh well, I guess I can end this here as from here on I'd just be repeating myself redundantly and repeatedly.

Monday, July 23, 2012


So, I'm pretty sure all of you have heard about the Batman shooting.  I'm sure most of you also know the details, so I'll focus more on a different side of it, the people's reactions.  I've heard a lot of them saying the usual ''Oh, poor them/poor families'' just like the rest of them have, so I won't focus on that part of it.  I saw someone I know on facebook and had a bit of respect for saying that it's Hollywood's fault that this happened.  I personally think this is complete bullshit.  I've been playing violent video games since I was young.  I played Steal a Bunch of Cars from age nine.  I haven't shot up a GameFlop yet, have I?  No, I haven't. I've been purposely killing characters on a life simulation game since I was eight, I haven't starved anyone to death, have I?  The part that saddens me more than the fact that people think like this is the sheer number of people who think like this.  If you're going to go out and kill a bunch of people because you saw a fictional character in a movie do it, you're sick in the head.  Your parents, or yourself, should have put you through therapy at a young age and kept you there.  Then again, that wouldn't do anything but get you put on some random medication that's probably a placebo anyway.  You people need to grow up and take a hammer to your third eye.  There's probably so much gunk on it that you'll need a jack hammer, though.

Friday, July 20, 2012


It seems to be all we are nowadays.  A good example is a relatively new invention I'd seen the other day.  It was a treadmill on bicycle wheels.  You run on the treadmill part and it turns the wheels.  Why would you even want this at all?  Why not just go jogging or running?  Think about it, you'll be losing some of the energy you put onto the treadmill to heat production.  You'll go slower with this thing than you would have if you'd just be running, so why get it?  Why not just go for a good, old-fashioned run?  Seems extremely pointless and stupid to me, and I do some pretty pointless things on a regular basis.  And I always thought recumbent bicycles were a waste of space.  This species continues to amaze me with the complete and utter pointlessness of the things that come out of our brains.  It's scary.

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Pyramid Schemes

Aren't they supposed to be bad?  I've been reading up on them and what they are, and I'm realizing they bear an extreme resemblance to facebook games.  They open up the game, get some people to join, the people get their friends to join and play and so on in this fashion until the games get spread like the viruses they are.  The only real difference is that there's no payment involved, just buildings.  That along with future employment of the friends they invited.  Another thing to note is that in many countries pyramid scams are illegal.  The only reason the makers of these games haven't been arrested yet is because the schemes are hidden behind a cutesy fa├žade of cartoonish graphics and child-like game play.  Oh, and because they offer you the option of paying tons, and I do mean tons, of real money if you don't want to suck your friends into the wildfire that is the facebook game.  I've seen the price tag on a lot of these, and it's obscene.  Hundreds and hundreds of dollars which could be spent on a number of other things.  You could buy an unbelievable amount of other games that are just about the exact same in game play, without the added burden of energy and other moronic resources that run out every thirteen minutes or so.  But I guess there's nothing any of us can do about it.  As long as there are cute things to keep middle-aged men and women glued to their computer screens getting subjected to forced advertisements that keep their game's makers money, then they're going to keep getting punched out.

Monday, July 16, 2012


I'll never understand the point in stealing other people's material.  I can understand emulating the style, but straight out stealing the material is kind of stupid, don't you think?  Comedy is supposed to be drawn from the little world and the big world, not from another comedian.  And I know that there's nothing left to say that's truly original.  Every idea's been said before in one way or another.  Even the most random thing you can think of has been said with the same idea behind it.  New inventions?  Complete and utter nonsense?  My dick's shrivelled up?  All of it's been said.  Maybe not word for word of what you said, but the general idea has been said many times over.  But even with this knowledge, you should still write your own acts.  Draw from your own experiences and observations.  I'm not saying this because anyone's done this to me.  Hell, if they had I'd consider them an idiot for picking me in particular.  I'm saying it because I'm sick of hearing the same stuff over and over again.  Original content is key to keeping fans, people.  When people realize you're just stealing word for word what another comedian did, they'll leave quickly.  And chances are, they won't be coming back.

Friday, July 13, 2012


Teachers have always been a big source of complaints amongst the masses.  Kids complain about their teachers and parents complain about their kid's teachers.  But, there are a few different points that I wish to express.  The first one is that a lot of teachers complain about their pay rates.  This makes no sense to me since most of the teachers who complain about it are the ones who don't do much to begin with.  Mainly because they don't actually like the job they've chosen.  They got into teaching because they were told it pays good money, which as we all know by now isn't true.  They may have gotten paid proportionally more in the past, but their pay has been going down.  Now, back to the teachers who complain.  They're usually the ones who don't do much in the classroom and are just, in general, glorified babysitters.  They stand up, give a lecture, pass out a worksheet, and then sit down.  They don't bother asking if the students know the material, which is part of their job description.  The ones who actually care about the students are usually the ones who are content with their careers and are fine with their own pay.  These are usually the ones who are treated truly unfairly.

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

You Can be Anything... Except

Anything you want to be.  Have you ever noticed a lot of parents will tell their children ''You can be anything you want to be when you grow up!''  Then when the kid says they want to be anything that isn't a secure job, such as a musician, comedian, or the president they start limiting you.  Parents, I'd like for you to pick one.  Either they can be anything, or they can be the thing you want them to be.  When parents say that they're hoping the kid says something along the lines of a doctor or a lawyer.  Anything that has even a moderate chance of failing isn't in a kid's career choice, even if it's not hard to get into it to begin with.  Think of all the jack-offs we have in music and in comedy.  With music you only have to have a pretty face, and possibly not even that.  With make-up, auto-tune, and writers you don't have to do anything but sing.  Then they have comedy writers, too.  You don't have to do anything to get to be a celebrity nowadays.  So parents, why are you worried about your child not getting into showbiz when it's easier to get into it than to get a job at McDonalds?  You people make no sense sometimes, I swear.

Monday, July 9, 2012


Since I've done a couple of blogs on Christians, I think it's time to do one on Atheists.  The ones who just jump on that squeaky old wagon we call band and then have to shout their grievances about God loud enough to be heard over said wagon piss everyone off.  They're the exact same as the Christians who do it.  It's annoying no matter what group of people it's supporting.  Doesn't matter if it's Buddhism, Christianity, Atheism or the Men Without Hats, it's annoying.  Just because you believe in something they feel the need to bring you down.  I have nothing against believers as long as they keep their religious belief away from my eardrums.  Another thing that pisses just about everyone off about these atheists is that they haven't read the bible.  One hundred percent of the time you meet an atheist like this they haven't read the entire bible front to back, they're just spewing hate about something for the sheer want to spew hate.  I may not announce myself to be part of any of these religions, but I do believe that, when in the right hands, religion can be a powerful and good thing.  Just as with everything else, it can be an extremely good thing.  But it has never been in the hands of a good person.  Aside the person who made the religion.  I believe after the person who founded the religion dies, it should be shut down permanently.  If someone wants to bring up a new church with the same beliefs, fine, but it should be shut down and forced to choose a new name if that's the case.  Just as one of the founding fathers believed that the constitution should be re-written every nineteen years, I believe that religions should be shut down after their makers are dead.  This does include atheism, by the way.

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Online Game Botting

Now, I'm not here to whine about the botters.  I'm here to bitch about the people who whine about botters.  It makes no sense, honestly.  I can understand that it makes you lag, but you can just switch around to different places on the most commonly botted game and be fine.  The next biggest argument is that it ''lowers the meaning of their achievements in the game.''  If you feel it does, then you're really stupid.  Achievements are supposed to make you feel good, and just because a bunch of people got a machine to do it for them doesn't mean you doing it means any less to you.  Whenever I play a game, if I achieve something legitimately, I still feel a slight ounce of pride in what I did.  I may not brag about it, but it still feels good.  Even though one of the main games I play has been infiltrated with people who pay other people to level them up, I still feel good when I hit level sixty.  It feels like an achievement.  Just because a lot of other people are up in the hundreds, even some at the maximum level, it doesn't make it any less of an achievement to hit level sixty on a difficult character to do so on.  That's all I'm saying here, folks.  If you let other people illegitimately obtaining a certain achievement in anything make it sound like less of an achievement for you, you're worse off than I.

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Homosexual Morons

Before you get all of your panties in a knot, you're not all idiots.  Just some of you.  75% of the homosexuals I know, to be precise.  It's the ones who decide to get tattoos stating that they're of the Abrahamic faiths that piss me off to no end.  The ones who get tattoos saying ''Only God can judge me.'' and things like that.  After reading most of the major faith's ''holy'' texts, I've come to the conclusion that God will judge you fairly negatively.  Now, I myself am not without sin, but I'm not running around fucking everything I see, I'm very rarely breaking any of the ten commandments, in fact.  Not because I am of any of these faiths, but because I just don't do that kind of shit.  But, back onto the topic of these morons.  Why would you be of a faith that clearly tells you to piss off?  The people of this faith are the ones who are mainly killing you guys, so why would you associate with the group that tells them to?  It seems counter-productive in my own opinion.  Then again, I could be wrong on this topic, I don't honestly know.  I just know that I wouldn't be associate with sick people if I had obsessive compulsive disorder.  I guess you can make your own choices, even though the characteristic you choose to show so bluntly is no personal choice to the majority of you.

Monday, July 2, 2012

The Aging

I'll never understand why guys like to shave their heads to make them look cooler or tougher.  Doesn't a balding head mean you're aging?  And doesn't aging mean you're going to die sooner?  Why are we still doing this?  It's confusing to me.  To my own knowledge we have a universal fear of death, so why would we want to do something that would make us look older?  I'll never understand this.  We spend so much time, effort, and money on looking younger, yet we do things to make us look older.  Why?  Just plain old why.  We go through tons and tons of make up, botox, and silicone every year, yet we try to make ourselves look older in some aspects, while shaving our crotches, legs, and arms to make ourselves look younger.  That's the only reason we do any of that, by the way.  Like I said a few days or weeks ago, we do a lot of things simply to make us look younger.  No one wants to be a pedophile, yet men want to look older and they want the women to look younger.  What does this hint at, huh?  Oh well, there's not much we can do about it, is there?